Easter, Cancerversary, Education, and Spring Are On Their Way!

This upcoming week we have so much to look forward to!  Do any of you know how April Fool's Day came about?   According to Discovery News, there are only theories as to its origination.  The most common theory goes back to 1582 when Pope Gregory XIII decreed a new calendar for Christian Europe.  Many Catholic and Protestant nations followed.  This calendar moved the first day of the year from April 1 to January 1.   Some Europeans, however, didn't get the memo and still celebrated the new year between March 25 and April 1.  So of course, they were the April FOOLS  who still celebrated the holiday in the spring.  This made them subject to pranks and ridicule by those who observed the new year on January 1.  That's just one of the several theories floating around out there.  Just check Google out if you want to know more about it.

 I have never been a fan of April Fool's Day.  Who wants to have a prank played on them?  I grew up with a younger brother, so the pranks I got usually involved worms (disgusting!) or spiders that would cause me to scream.  So when I found out five years ago that April 1st was going to be my debulking surgery to remove as much of the cancer from inside of my stomach that they could, I was not only scared, but just wondering how this could be! 

Granted, Rob and I have reason to be fans of the holiday.  Our daughter Danielle was born on Valentine's Day and  Zach was born on Christmas Day.  I guess it would make sense that I would have surgery on April Fools Day.  Heck, I even started my first round of chemo on Cinco de Mayo!  We just seem to have something with holidays.  But finding out you have Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer s on April 1st?  This had to be some sort of cruel joke!

 Please allow me to share my stay at Magees Women's Hospital with you as a sort of  5 year cancerversary gift to all of you (and a therapeutic gift to me) hoping you will learn from my journey so none of you will ever have to follow the same road I did.
 

After the Emergency Room doctor in Erie discovered what seemed to be ovarian cancer, and had me admitted there,  I was then released the next day from the Erie hospital.   They made the arrangements for me to head to Pittsburgh on Monday morning.  This gave us time to tell the kids.  They were wondering why I had stayed overnight in the hospital.  Danielle was coming home from college for the weekend.  It was one of the only weekends she would be able to make it home since she was on a scholarship playing softball for Youngstown State University.  Rob just kept putting their questions off by telling them they were running some tests.  Once I was home, I told the boys.  Andrew didn't talk at all.  He did not say one word.  He just sat there.   Zach asked the tough questions.  Are you going to die?  Are you going to have to get chemotherapy?  I had no idea.  I was not strong at all at that time.  I sobbed off and on trying to find the right words to say in order to encourage them as well as myself.    However, when you hear the "C" word, you tend to think you are dying.  

Once Danielle had driven home from Youngstown, Rob told her.  She had stopped by to see her high school Lady Braves softball team practicing.  Before they left, Rob broke down while he was trying to get the words out in the parking lot of the school so she would know before she saw me.  She came in the house like a crazy lady looking for me, yelling, "Mom?"  And then she gave me the biggest hug.  She also needed reassured.  "You have cancer?  You aren't going to die, are you?"  She was sobbing along with me.  We didn't know anything at that time, so I just told them I was being sent to a great hospital and hopefully they could get it all out.  Now, you have to know Zach.  He is my middle child who always seems to keep us laughing.  He also has some blonde moments.  All of a sudden he says, "I hope I don't get ovarian cancer.  I kind of look like you."  We all just busted out laughing!!!  Hey Zach, have you had Health class?  Once someone said that, he was laughing too and said, "Oh yeah, I guess I can't get that."  It was just the little bit of humor we needed at that moment.

  So the remainder of the weekend, I cleaned like a crazy lady not knowing when I would be able to do it again.  My brother called me and I vividly remember being on my hands and knees in the kitchen scrubbing the floor crying to him.  He found the words to make me stop crying somehow.  Rob kept telling me to go lay down and rest.  Seriously??  No way.  I couldn't seem to turn my mind off.

 I called my dear friend, Mrs. Lewis, who was in Florida at the time visiting her daughter Stephanie and  somehow spit the words out to her.  I have always been able to count on that woman.  She is one special lady to me.  My colleagues at school were told by my dear friend Liesl, who was in contact with Rob.  It was hard to leave a message on the answering machine to the substitute call in line.  My aerobics instructor and energizer bunny friend, Kori, was the one who received those messages and would then find out what was going on and that I would need a substitute for the remainder of the year.  My parents were also in Florida enjoying the warm weather.  They started packing up immediately to make the trip to Pittsburgh.  They would make it there just in time for my surgery on April Fools Day.

 Once we left, my in-laws Bob and JoAnn helped by doing laundry while we were in Pittsburgh and made sure the boys' got up and made it to school on time. Scott loved to text me, so he was always checking on me.   My sister-in-law Michelle made sure to pick up things for the kids' Easter baskets.   Yes, I worried about strange things when I needed to just think about what I was up against.  However, it was too big for me.   I hate to cry because I find it a sign of weakness for me.   Let me tell you, I still don't like to cry, but I let the tears flow when I need to nowadays.  It's good for the soul.

 Rob has over 200 sick days.  He doesn't miss school very often!  His principal at the time, Mr. Berlin, who is also his good friend, helped him immensely during this time.  Rob prepared to miss a few days, not knowing how long we would be out of the classroom.  There were countless friends and family members that were there for us in some way or another-praying, cooking, checking on the boys, etc.   Meals and gift cards were sent to keep them fed while we were gone.   The boys' both had their driving licenses, so they were able to get around when they needed to.  That was a blessing. 

While all of that was going, Rob and I were heading to Magees bright and early Monday morning.  It was a mix of snow and rain.  Geez, even the angels are crying with me. . . I got a phone call from my Godchild Jodi.  I could barely understand her, she was crying so hard.  She was calling to tell me she loved me.

 Once I arrived at the hospital, we met Dr. Richard, my first oncology hero.  He is now in Philadelphia still working in oncology.  Anyway, he had such a vibrant personality.  He loved giving hugs!   He was very honest with us and told me I had the classic symptoms of ovarian cancer.   My ovaries were honeycomb shaped.  Interesting. . . He wouldn't know for sure until he got in there, but he thought I was at Stage 3.  He was pretty close!  After explaining that the surgery would take 4-5 hours, I could end up in Intensive Care for a bit and that I would need to have a port put into my chest and abdomen, we were whisked off to a nurse that gave us a big bag with a binder of all sorts of information that had to do with ovarian cancer and

chemo therapy.  She told me I would lose my hair.  Dr. Richard mentioned that as well.  So I continued to sob.  The information we were given in those few hours were mind boggling.  There was sooooooo much information.     Sidenote:  I refused to look at the information they gave me.  Dr. Richard said that was okay-don't look at it unless you need to.  That was my Mom's job when it came to side effects or  any other questions I had.  I just couldn't take any more information in.  I didn't want to read about what could happen and then be paranoid just waiting for it to occur.  Everyone deals differently.  Maybe that's why I've beat the odds and made it to 5 years. . . ignorance.  I just didn't want to take a chance by putting it into my head!  My Mom and Dad were at our house every. single. day.   So I knew if I needed anything checked out, she would look it up.  They were a great comfort to have around. 

Rob was a rock through all of this in front of me.  He was my number one cheerleader.  He asked questions when I couldn't think straight.  Anything that came to mind, he would ask.  I was just an emotional wreck.  The nurse also told me about picking out a wig before I began my cancer treatments so I would feel well enough and have energy to make my choice.  My godparents asked to help us pay for that.  So much help and love, I'm telling you!  It was so humbling.

Then I was admitted to the hospital and taken to a room.  Dr. Richard's surgery schedule was so booked, I would have to wait until Thursday afternoon to have my surgery.  It was Monday!  What the heck was I going to do all that time?  Well, I had lots of blood drawn, and ALMOST got to eat until they realized they were going to start prepping me for a colonoscopy that was scheduled for the next day.  Great.  This was no picnic.  Why hadn't I eaten breakfast?  As a matter of fact, I don't think I ate much all weekend.  You know it's bad when I lose my appetite!   So my liquid diet started on Monday.  I had the colonoscopy done on Tuesday.  Those things are a piece of cake.  The prep part is the shittiest!  No pun intended.  They say you are awake, but they give you something that causes you not to remember a thing!  I appreciated that.

 I had a mammogram done on Wednesday.  There I met a woman as I had tears running down my face ask me what I was there for.  She was a breast cancer survivor-fighting for her third time around.  What spirit she had as I sat there like a cry baby.  She told me it would get better and I would become stronger.  She told me to fight!  She was right.  

 Next came the geneticist team to take a look at my family history.  Hmm. . . they said as they were drawing a map on paper of our family history.   We see you have no cancer on your father's side but several people with cancer on your mom's side.  You are about two months shy of your 45th birthday.  The average age for ovarian cancer is 63. . .  Let's see, your grandma, mom, her sister, and several aunts all had breast cancer and one had ovarian cancer.  So they took my blood to look for that pesky gene we carry, BRCA1.

 That's when another chapter started and we had to start looking into the rest of the women in our family to see if they carry the BRCA1 gene.  We still haven't had everyone checked, unfortunately.  The majority of them have.   It is a personal choice that everyone makes for themselves.  However, there are things they can do to help prevent you from getting ovarian or breast cancer.  Knowledge is Power!!!

Back to my stay at Magees:  The liquid diet was very difficult.  My stomach did not feel well at all by this time.  They had taken out 5 quarts of fluid from my abdomen when I was in Erie, and I could tell it was filling up again.  This is caused from the cancer.  Chicken and beef broth, popscicles, and jello were what I ate.  On Wednesday, I was so bored and lonely.  Rob had gone home on Tuesday to get more lesson plans set and check on the boys now that he knew I was going to be in the hospital for quite a while.  Tim and Melissa (brother-in-law and sister- in- law) were checking on them as well, but Rob  wanted to make sure they were doing alright with everything that was happening.  I remember calling home.  Zach answered the phone.  Andrew was attempting to make something to eat.  (I could only imagine what my kitchen was looking like!)  Sidenote:  I remember Andrew calling me and asking me how to make pasta salad!  I told him to just cut everything up, dump it together, and add salad dressing.  He said he was just going to eat the noodles.   I told him I was going to call Bob or JoAnn to come help him if he didn't try.   He later sent me a picture of him eating a big bowl of pasta salad!  Atta boy.

Back to the phone call:  I asked where Dad was.  Zach said, Uhhhh, he's grocery shopping.  Seriously???  I realize things were going to have to change a bit, but Rob was really at a store?!?!  That has always been my job.  He has shopped approximately three times in  his life.  Once each time a child was born!   Anyway, Zach stuck to his story, so I said to tell Dad to call me back or maybe I would call him on his cell.   Minutes later, my cell phone rang.  It was Rob.  I asked him what he was doing.  He told me he was shopping.  I told him I didn't believe it!  I also told him I was scared and wanted to know when he would be back.  As he was answering me, he came through my hospital room. He surprised me!   I had never been happier to see him!  He was going to sleep on the recliner in my room to be with me the night before my surgery.  Thank God.

Finally, Thursday came.  It took FOREVER to get the clock to read 5 pm.  My parents had made it down.  Bob and JoAnn came down as well.  It was hard to stay strong as I was prepped to go down to the surgery room. A very big black man came to get me.  I had to jump onto the gurney without flashing everyone.  We said our goodbyes.  As this young man wheeled me down there, he asked me how I was doing.  I told him I was scared.  I probably had cancer and we were going to find out during this surgery.  He said, "Do you believe in God?"  I said, "Yes."  Then he said, "Then don't be scared!  He's got you.  He'll be watching over you and He will take great care of you.  Just keep believing."  Those were the strongest words I could have heard at that time. For some reason before I was in Intensive Care, I could feel the doctors wrapping me and moving me to another table.  Before they moved me, I heard one of the women say, "Wait.  I'm moving down further.  Someone else can take the front.  She already punched me once!"  I guess I punched someone when they were trying to staple and clean me up.  Oh dear. . . sorry!

Once the surgery was over, I found myself waking up in Intensive Care. It was already the next morning. I could hear someone crying as I was trying to come out of it.  I said, "Who's crying?"  My mom answered.  She said, "It's your Dad."  I said, "Don't cry.  Don't cry.  I'm going to be okay!"  I remember saying it even though I was very groggy.     I learned that Dr. Richard had to give me a complete hysterectomy.  They took my duodenum, spleen, appendix and the size of a quarter (piece)
of my liver.  I was cut from my rib cage all they way down.  It wasn't even 12 hours after surgery and that nurse wanted me to get out of bed and sit in a chair!  I even pointed out to her that it hadn't even been 12 hours, but she didn't seem to care!  That was an excruciatingly painful time.  I had already started to receive visitors and flowers.  A colleague was in Pittsburgh, Carole Ann.  They actually let her in to see me for a minute. 

A few hours later, I was sent to a regular room.  I stayed in the hospital for another week after surgery.  Still no food!  Just fluids and a morphine drip.  That became my friend.  It was timed every 6 minutes.  Rob would laugh at me because I would be pushing it and he knew it was timed! I didn't care!  I was just hoping for a little less pain!   Danielle and Corey came to visit me from Youngstown on that Saturday.  They were both leaving for games soon.  Matt and Kathy came to see me on Easter Sunday.  They drove the boys down on Easter so I could see them.  That was awesome, although I was a bit out of it for both visits.  Apparently, I told Corey and Danielle that I could really go for a big cheeseburger!  That's what happens when you haven't eaten solid foods in almost a week by then!

They had me getting up and showering every day.  I couldn't look in the mirror at first to see what my stomach looked like. Eventually I did.  They helped me the first few days and then I was on my own.  That was the first thing my friend Kathy said when she came into my room.  "You even have your hair done and a some make up on!" She couldn't believe it. 

Cio Cia Marcia (pronounced Cha cha for those of you who don't speak Polish) and Uncle David came to visit me.  David took Rob out for a picnic while I showed Marcia how I could now walk with a catheter, IV, and a drain in my liver along with 54 staples in my stomach.  They made me do it at least three times a day.  That was big!  Mrs. Lewis made her way down to visit and so did my brother and niece Shannon.  My sister-in-law Melissa and her Mom came to see me too. Two of my college roommates came in, Tammy, and Pam along with her husband Mike.  They were so helpful in getting Rob a room for a few days even.  It is amazing how awesome and resourceful people are in a time of need.  Cio Cia Gerry and Walter also made a trip down.  She is my aunt that had ovarian cancer.  She is a survivor!  No recurrences for her so far and it's been 15 years.  I'd say, she's good! 

 After ten days in the hospital and Rob, who had just gotten home  after staying with me around 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Dr. Richard finally came in around 5 pm and said if I wanted to go home, I could!  I was able to eat lunch and I kept everything in.  They were going to remove the drains, and catheter.  He said I could stay another day if Rob didn't want to come back to get me since he just left Magees earlier that afternoon, but as Dr. Richard said, "He's gonna make all of  us husbands look bad and come back to get you today, isn't he!"  And that he did.  I was finally going home. 

We didn't realize we were only at the beginning of our journey, but this April 1st, I will be smiling and enjoying the day completely.  I made it five years!!!!!  I was only in remission for about 18 months after my first 19 rounds of chemo were completed with two ports in place, but I have been given the gift of five years of life!  I am on my fourth recurrence, but that's okay, because I still made it. 

I don't usually look at numbers or listen to statistics because we are all different.  Ovarian cancer is especially unpredictable as far as how long someone may make it or who will beat it.  According to the statistics, though, only 20% of the patients with Stage 3 ovarian cancer make it.  I was Stage 3C.  I did it!  And I plan to continue to fight and LIVE!  Danielle tells me when I am too positive and happy that "We can't all go around shi&*ing rainbows like you, Mom!" Well guess what!  Yes we can! :)

                                                      The statistics say I have an even slimmer chance of making it to
ten years.  But I'm here now, so I plan to make the best of each moment!  Maybe I will be here to blog about my ten year cancerversary!  We won't know until the time comes.  All I do know is I have a lot to stick around for and enjoy.   I don't wake up feeling all that great every day, but I do my damndest to get dressed, show up. and put a smile on my face.  What is sitting around feeling sorry for yourself going to do? 

Angelina Jolie made big news this past week announcing that she had a hysterectomy at age 39 in order to reduce her chances from getting ovarian cancer.  That is what her mom passed away from.  She and her family also carry the BRCA1 gene.  I'm glad our society is being educated on this.  Ovarian Cancer has no cure yet.  The more we know and can prevent it from happening, the better.  Although I am not an Angelina Jolie fan because----yes, I must digress--- I loved Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston together!  However,  I am glad someone famous seems to be able to make people listen and is getting the information out there for all to hear about.  She will not make the cut into my Journal of 1,000 things/moments/people/etc. . .  that bring me Joy, but the message will!

Today is Palm Sunday.  We received palms in church and I enjoyed listening to the Homily and trying to follow along while I made a cross out of my palm.  We got to the car and reminisced how we all got in trouble with those palms as children trying to stick them into our siblings ears or up their nose before one of our parents saw us and would take it away!  When we first woke up this morning, this is what I saw greeting me:

The sun rising on a cold, brisk, but beautiful day!  Then, I looked into our front lawn and saw this:

Look closely and you will see lots of plastic white forks in our lawn!  I believe some Harbor Creek Softball Ladies were out playing a practical joke on their coaches last night!  Those kids.  You've gotta love them!

Thank you again for my beautiful mystery jewelry gift giver!!!  I've been trying to be a Detective; however, I don't think I'll quit my day job.  When I am out and about in the building I keep checking everyone's jewelry out to see if I can figure out who it could be.  It is just gorgeous. Someone is making this by hand!   Thank you.  I just love it.

I wanted to talk about Dr. Krivak, my truly number 1 Oncologist for the past three years-ever since Dr. Richard left for Philadelphia in 2012.  He and one of his other patients, Susan Evans, wrote a wonderful book together about ovarian cancer.  Susan has a special gift telling about her journey of being diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  Hers starts with an ankle injury. . . can you believe?  She tells it with such truth and honesty and sprinkles in some humor that we can all relate to. With the help of Dr. Thomas Krivak, she also empowers her readers with what to look for in an oncologist and what kind of questions to ask.  This is your life we are talking about and she gets a very powerful message across in her book.   All proceeds go to Ovarian Cancer Research and Education.  Check it out on Amazon.  Order a few for your friends or go to this website and mail in a donation so we can find a cure some day soon, I hope!  I also included the mailing address! 

www.pittsburghfoundation.org   - Click on Research – type in Evans Krivak Gynecological Research Education Fund.

OR mail it to:

The Evans-Krivak Gynecological Research Education Fund

Five PPG Place

Suite 250

Pittsburgh, PA  15222-5414

In a few weeks I also plan to talk about another book I won from the TMW:  Love Yourself Well group I've been following on Facebook.  The book is written by Sophie Uliano.  I am looking forward to reading about taking care of myself through wholesome foods, exercise, and positive thought.  Anyone is welcome to join us on Facebook with Jennifer Greenwood Taylor.   Check it out!  It will be worth your while. 

Enjoy this week to its fullest!  I know I plan to. 

   

Great Nieces, Great Pressure, and Great Joy

                                                                               

It was great waking up to SUNSHINE this morning.  Although it was only 18 degrees outside, it just put a jump in my step; especially this time of year living in the northern part of Pennsylvania where it is quite gray and drab looking.

This past week flew by!  It was packed with little surprises, lots of changes at work, a student teacher's arrival, exercise, eating to nourish the mind, body, and soul, looking for joy everyday, and finally a birthday party for my great niece Aubree.

If you happen to be in education or are retired from working in education, you know it's that time of year where teachers become somewhat crazy attempting to cover all  their students need to know prior to taking the upcoming standardized tests.  In Pennsylvania, we are preparing to take the PSSA's.  Our students will take them in the junior high in mid April.  They will then be ranked Advanced, Proficient, Basic, or Below Basic based on their score.  Thirty five percent of the students' scores reflect upon the individual teachers final score we receive to show if we are considered a  Distinguished, Proficient, or a Teacher that Needs Improvement.  It is part of the newest rating the state uses under the Educator Effectiveness Plan.  Well, let's just say, it makes some teachers act like students tend to act when there is a full moon!

 I am one of those people that work in Special Education. I work my a$* off to help these kids socially as well as intellectually do their best.   I teach Basic English classes, organize IEP meetings, Write IEP's, hold meetings,  check their grades, progress monitor,  and oh yeah, teach, adapt, make study guides, etc. . .   You get my drift.  I love it!   You have to be flexible in this field or you will  not make it.  If you don't have a sense of humor or cannot go with the flow, you are not going to survive in a room full of students with various disabilities. Some of my students this year have the typical disabilities (reading, writing, reading comprehension, math).  Sprinkle in those who also have Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, Tourette's Syndrome, OCD, Auditory Processing Deficits, Schizophrenia, Mild to moderate mental retardation, and Emotional Support students.  You now have a picture perfect glimpse into my classes.  If they are in my class, they are not reading on a 7th or 8th grade level.  The majority of my kids this year are reading between the 3rd grade reading level and the beginning of the 7th grade level with comprehension deficits.

The Special Education Staff (as well as our Regular Education staff) work diligently to prepare our students to do their best.  We also supply them with study skills and test taking skills to help them  narrow down the best choice.  We do all we can think of that might help them show some improvement in their scores from last year. We have even been completing Math and English prompts during the quarter, practicing our reading and writing skills, reviewing literary components, poetry vocabulary, and how to answer a prompt completely.  It has been exhausting!  We are all feeling the pressure.

However, for the first time in a long time, I found myself having to stand up to another colleague as far as where a child should take his test based on his IEP.  I won't go into the details, but I must say, it was quite disheartening. My colleagues are usually the best to work with!  They know where to send students that have specially designed instruction listed and require accommodations.  We do the same thing each year for PSSA's based on their IEP.   This could have been completely avoided.   I can't say it brought me joy-which is what I am supposed to be practicing while I am taking chemotherapy, but I did what I had to do.

It's quite sad when a standardized test has brought adults that have worked together for years to quibble about who is going to have more or less time to prepare their students due to testing schedules or who the students take the test with. It is not about the teacher's wants or needs.  We are working to prepare the students!  Even our elective teachers are upset.  They don't want to lose time with their students due to testing.  It's great we value our time in making a difference with our students, but enough is enough already!    It's  like a full moon has been shining down upon us and we are all turning into werewolves. . . After being a part of this as well as an observer of this behavior, I have taken a big step back.

 We ALL want the students to do well on the standardized tests.  However, I am not going to let it push me over the edge.  We are ALL doing as best as we can for preparing the students.    I am hoping it was just a few days of psychosis last week and that everyone gains perspective of what the goal is; to help the students perform to their best ability.  I only wish I could get the PSSA police to give my students that are performing below grade level the test at the level in which they are performing at.  Then maybe we would actually get to see how much progress they are really making without frustrating them along the way.  Some day, I hope.

On top of teachers' turning into werewolves, we were told there will be several administrative changes next fall and we also have some retirements and openings that are being posted.  There will be lots of changes next school year.  Not everyone likes change, me included.  However, sometimes change can be good too.  I plan to come in with a great outlook and make the best of it!  

I have had a student teacher, Miss Boots, join my class this past week.  So far, she has been a breath of fresh air!  I didn't have to say anything to her and she jumped right in to help out with the students.  They really seem to respect and enjoy having her with us.  I look forward to seeing her in action mid week as she starts to take over some of my classes.  Don't worry!  I'll still have plenty to do!      

While I was napping yesterday from a busy week and a great aerobics class in the morning, seven seventh graders visited my door.  They were participating in the 24-Hour Famine.  They raised money for those who don't have enough to eat and then did their own fast from 6 pm Friday night until 6 pm Saturday night.  They sleep over at the church and do all sorts of fun activities and scavenger hunts to keep them busy until it is time for Church at 5 pm.  Then they get to enjoy in a great meal together.  They brought me a beautiful card and handmade cross.  I am fortunate to have such sweet students participating in learning about community outreach through their church.  I just wish I wouldn't have been sleeping so I could have thanked them in person.

 

 The highlight of my week was going to my great niece, Aubree's 3rd Birthday Party!  She and her little sister Morgan are so fun!  Morgan is definitely the ham!  She is always smiling and giggling.  Aubree is more serious and shy.  However, she really warmed up to us quickly this time.  Each time we see her she is more willing to sit with us and tell us stories.  They love their Uncle Mat, his girlfriend Jessie and Grandpa Pakela so much.  

                                       This is my niece Shannon and her oldest daughter, Aubree. 

 

Little Morgan and her daddy are both hams!  They're always smiling.

The snowmobile lego set Aubree got gave Mathew and Jessie a rough time putting it together!  hahaha

 Aubree got a Dora fishing pole from Grandpa Pakela so they can fish together this spring.

We also had some special guests show up for the party.  Aubree couldn't get over it!  Four of their chickens hopped up on a window sill and were peeking into the window at us!  We also learned that the white chicken and one of the black chickens were given names months ago.  They are Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Pakela!  My mom thanked her for naming her chickens after them.  She and my mom will be having a baking day to plan.  One of the gifts they got her was a rolling pin and Easter cookie cut outs along with a pouch of cookie dough.  I think they'll have fun doing that.  

                                                           Here's the Birthday girl!

 These were the four special guests that arrived at the party!  Great Grandma Pakela is on the right and Great Grandpa Pakela is next to her.

     The birthday girl became quite shy when we started singing to her.  Maybe we scared her?!?!

As for me, I cannot complain about these chemo pills.  I just listen to my body and rest when I need to.  I still have those moments of nausea that swarm over me, but I am handling it pretty well.  My Joy Journal is filling up even with the not so great work week that is thankfully behind me.  I hope all of you find some Joy in your life this week.  There is too much negativity in the world.  We need to pay special attention to the good that is happening around us.  Next week I want to tell you about a great book that my oncologist, Dr. Krivak and a cyber friend, Susan Evans wrote together about her discovery of having ovarian cancer.  Stay tuned! 

Joy Dare, ChaLlenges, and Family Fun

I hope this finds you doing well.  It has been a good week!  I am continuing to adjust to the Parp Inhibitors.   There have been some taste changes when I eat certain things, but that is a good thing.  Mom brought over a small cake for soon-to-be son-in-law Corey's birthday yesterday.  Of course, I just wanted to have a taste of the frosting.  Any of you who have had Cammy cake would understand!  However, it tasted like alcohol swabs to me!    How do I know what alcohol swabs taste like you ask?  I have a port in my chest for treatments and blood work.   When they hook it up and flush it, that's what they use and that's what I taste for just a minute or so.  After almost five years (as of April 1st-and that's no joke) of this, I KNOW  that taste.  What a bummer!!  However, I am trying to stay away from sugar which I believe from all of my reading that it feeds Cancer.  It is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Some days I am more successful than others.  If it doesn't taste like I remember it tasting, I will not eat it!

  My blood work this past week came back good.  I still tire out by the end of the day, but I tell myself that most of us do!  Some stomach discomfort here and there, too, but again, it could be so much worse, so I have nothing to complain about.  A nurse that works for the oncology pharmacy in North Carolina called last week again to check up on any symptoms I might be having.  She said I am normal, or at least the symptoms I shared with her were!😊 I learned that they will call me sometime this week to refill my prescription.  💊💊 I am looking forward to the beginning of April when they check my CA125 to see how well it is working.  I'm not sure what to expect, but I do pray it is dropping!!  

This week I received some beautiful gifts.  An anonymous gift giver slipped a white jewelry box into
 my mailbox at school that included what I believe to be earrings and a bracelet that were hand made.
They are beautiful and I found myself wearing them several times this week.  Whoever you are, thank
 you.  It has been a very humbling to be thought of so often.

 The other gift I received came from a cyber friend.  I have never had the pleasure of meeting her in person yet, but we follow Dr. Krauza, a local chiropractor, and his organic workouts and healthy
eating plans.  That is how we became acquainted with one another.   Jennifer is a director of a
Wellness Foundation in East Hampton.  She was also a Holistic Health Coach in the past.  She teaches us how to "Love Yourself Well."   Some key points I have been learning from her is  how we should be nourishing our body and soul.  How we fuel our bodies is how we feel.  I have learned that from Dr. Krauza and my friend "Eloise" too.  I've been taking small steps.  I am learning how to focus on loving myself well.

Jennifer sent me a book called,  One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  In her book, she shows us how to find joy in our everyday lives.  So often we find ourselves waiting for what's next. . . When is
the next big trip trip we are going to take or the next greatest gadget, the next big party or celebration, etc. . . We become so focused on what is next traveling on the fast track of life that we forget to find joy in our every day lives.  We get lost in the hustle and bustle or caught up in keeping up with the
Joneses or the Kardsshians?!  What about the little things in life that bring us joy?  We would be full of more gratitude if only we took some time to be thankful for all things in our life.  So Jennifer challenged me to the Joy Dare.  I will be looking for the presence of God no matter where I am.  I will be looking for a life filled with joy; God's grace is everywhere!  She also sent me a journal, When God Thinks of You He Smiles,  to count one thousand gifts that God gives me every day.  Those
moments that take your breath away.  Those times when you just stop for a moment and make a mental picture of that beautiful sound, sight, thought, picture, moment that He provided us.  Everyone should take this Joy Dare on if you are just going through life.  Slow down and smell the roses!  I am loving this dare and have been carrying my journal around jotting down all that brings me JOY!  On Ann's website (the author) I stumbled upon monthly calendars she provides that help us look for certain things that may bring you joy.

Jennifer also got me back on track with another challenge.  It starts today.  I am focusing on loving myself well.   With the cold winter we've had in the north and adjusting to the chemo pills, I have
been eating more carbs and moving less.   Spring is just around the corner!  She has asked us to
Nourish ourselves well.   There are just a few rules.  When we are nourishing our bodies we should
cut out at least one thing for the next 30 days:  sugar, gluten, meat, or dairy.   I've done this before
with Dr. Krauza and felt so much better!  I had more energy, less aches, and lost weight!  I need to
make it a habit rather than blowing it on the weekends or giving into having that handful of
chocolate.   So I am going to give it my all again.  I have a wedding in four months for cry in' out loud!  There are a few more components to this Spring Challenge.  Move more-at least 5 days a week to become more energized and  hydrate to help your skin glow!  I am shooting for 100 ounces.  This won't be hard with taking 16 chemo pills a day!  You should try it!  Mom and Dad are going to walk the halls in their complex twice a day for ten minutes.  They're in their 70's.  If we can do it, so can you!! I challenge all of YOU to take on the Joy Dare and the Spring Challenge!  Let me know how you are doing along the way.

Speaking of Mom and Dad, last week they brought a delicious dinner over on Wednesday for us 

brought me a little piece of Polish  heaven last Sunday:  Keisha.  I am not a big meat eater and 

who knows what is actually in this delicacy, but once a year, I LOVE frying it up with an egg and ketchup.  When I first went on chemo, that was one thing I could taste somewhat with ketchup!  That and braunschweiger.  I actually craved it once my appetite would return.  Nothing like a little Polish love!  It brings back great memories of my Grandma MaLiNoWsKi.  At Christmas everyone looked forward to her Braunschweiger ball! ❤️  

The kids had a good time celebrating St. Patrick's Day.  ZaCh went to the Pittsburgh Penguins game with his friend Steve.  Unfortunately Steve's team, the Bruins, beat the Pens.  Steve was a brave soul sitting with all those Penguin fans.  AnDRew and Jensen had us drop them off downtown and then got a ride back.  Everyone was home by midnight.  Thank God!

 Danielle and I found the flower girl dresses!  They are so precious!!  She also found a few
decorations for their home they are anxiously awaiting to make their own.  She and Rob are busy with softball starting up.   There was a clinic on Saturday as one of the senior's graduation project.  It sounded like it went well!  Their first game is in Corry, PA on Saturday.  I wonder if they will be able to get it in?

We have today off from work.  It's been just what I needed; a long weekend.   However, I am  heading into work to get some things done.  Not everyone realizes it, but a teacher's job is never done and many hours go into it that don't fall between the hours of 7:40 am. and 2:45 pm.

Rob and my school both seem to be looking at possible changes that seem to be based on what is "fair."  Life isn't fair!   Only time will tell how they will unfold.  I am not wasting my energy on worrying about it anymore, though.  It is robbing me from my joy.

Have a great week!  I have a student teacher beginning tomorrow with me, so I am looking forward to working together.  Keep your eyes and your heart open to find some joy and spring into a healthier you!  Until next time,
Sue

SpRiNg, SLiPpInG & sLiDiNg, SLEePy, & SOLD!

Have you noticed the full moon outside this week?  It's been a crazy one at school as well as around here, so it was no surprise to me when I looked up into the night sky Thursday to see the biggest, brightest yellow sphere.  Have you had one of those weeks? 

It's hard to believe we will be SPRINGING ahead tonight when you look out our windows in Erie County, Pennsylvania.  We have several feet of snow and ice about three inches thick in our driveway which makes for a great rink!  My boys have played hockey for 18-20 years, so you would think I would be able to handle it.  Not so much.  On Wednesday, I was attempting to get out of the garage and up our little hill to head to the junior high school I teach at.  Low and behold, I was stuck.  Of course, this does not look good since my daughter also teaches at the same school and she was able to get out.  (That's what I thought, anyway.  Later she told me she parked on the road.)  Anyway, I gun the engine and head out of the garage with the radio blaring to get my blood pumping for the day.  The next thing I knew, I was unable to make it up over the top of the hill.  As I stepped on the brake getting ready to put the gear shift in reverse, I realized I was sliding down sideways and ran right into the bumper of Zach's truck. . .Of course I was trapped, since it was on the driver's side that coasted into his truck, so I hiked up over the seat to the passenger side and made my way to wake Zach up to give me a hand.  

I quietly snuck into his warm room and started babbling about how slippery it was out there. . .  could he please help me get out of the driveway. . .and oh, by the way. . . . I  accidentally slid into your truck and I'm really sorry!  He replies, "Of course you did."  So he throws on some clothes and boots and makes me climb back in over the seats to hold my foot on the brake and pull the emergency brake even though I already had it in park.  He backed down onto the icy concrete pad by the garage and then I attempted to get up the hill.  No luck.  I slid right back down.  So of course, he wanted to take over the driving wheel.  

There is something about boys. . . young or old, and getting behind a wheel of an automobile that is stuck on an ice rink for a driveway.  While I stood on the front sidewalk watching,  Zach was gunning my engine and trying to fly up the driveway to the top of the road.  I was cheering a few times inside when he was unable to get out because you know he thinks his Mom can't drive.  However, I really did need to get to work!  Many seventh and eighth grade students were depending on my presence!  As Zach fishtailed down the driveway, he yelled out, "Wow, it really is slippery!"  NO KIDDING!!  Thank God he finally turned it around and after three more tries, he got it out of the driveway!  My hero!  I watched him slide down the driveway with no problem in his boots while I was praying I didn't wipe out on my way up to the car in my black dress shoes.    What a way to start your morning.  I know Mom, I should be wearing boots. . . 

However, I was not the only one that decided to play bumper cars with Zach's back end of his big white truck.  On Friday, Danielle was trying to get out of the driveway.  I learned my lesson!  I have been parking on the road since then.  Poor Zach.  His bumper got it again, only this time Danielle hit him and she shattered her rear view light.  This is the second time she got him in the past 30 days.  He said he has had about enough of us hitting his truck!  I can't say I blame him.    After hitting him, Rob helped her get out of the driveway.  She went to get a coffee. As she was walking down the driveway, she slipped and landed on her side.  I would like you to know, though, her Starbucks was still standing.  It did not spill!  That's all she cared about.  The Chase's are officially over ice and winter.  We are ready for spring.  

It's official.  Danielle and Corey made an offer on a house!    Their offer was accepted.  She and Rob went to the house for the Inspection to see what they might need to ask an allowance for now that it is complete.    The Inspector asked Rob if he would be interested in working for him, he was so knowledgeable!  Anyway, it's a cute tri-level in Glenwood near the zoo, YMCA,  and behind the golf course.  As long as everything continues to go smoothly, their closing will be on April 17th.  Between softball, Corey finishing his internship, and getting things finalized for the wedding, they plan to paint and make a few updates while they wait a a few months to move in.   Hopefully it will all work out.  At first, I thought it was way too far away from us!  I would rather have them on our side of town, but they were able to get double the space for their money.  It's a good starter home.  Not a lot of yard, so I know that after grandchildren start filling up that house, they will have to come back to this side of town, eventually.  ;) 

Andrew got an A on his latest English paper!  The theme for his class is Love.  Andrew was not thrilled.  Ever since he was in sixth grade he has been telling us he was going to school to "get a girlfriend."  Well, we keep telling him to be picky!  Find someone with the same interests as you.  His paper was well written and very interesting.  He discussed how we learn about love from the what is modeled for us; what we are exposed to; however, if you were exposed to a poor relationship, that doesn't mean you are set up to have a failing relationship.  He then went on to compare love to Legos.  They are in all sorts of colors, shapes, and sizes. You can build different relationships based on your taste, interests, etc. .  We have to find the one that fits you best.  Very impressive from my Doctor Love.

As for treatments and continuing with the parp inhibitor, Lynparza-also known as Olaparib, I've been tired.  I missed aerobics on Wednesday because I went up to take a little nap after work.  It was 4:30.  Rob woke me up at 6:45 to tell me he was leaving for softball practice.  I slept right through class.  Yesterday I did the same thing.  Came home from work around 4:30.  Rob woke me up to give me my parps at 7 pm and I slept until 1:30 in the morning.  Now that's some nap!  I stayed up about an hour and slept until this morning at 7 am.  It was time for another dose already.  So I would definitely say I noticed more fatigue this week. 

 My stomach is playing tricks on me too.  Nauseated after I take them for a few hours, then I am starving.  I eat a little something and I feel queazy.  Then I am starving again.  So I am learning to eat little meals.  I need to eat more fruits and veggies, but the crackers or carbs seem to be the thing I reach for to coat my stomach.  All in all, I still can't complain!  Between this cold weather that makes me want to hibernate and working full time, it really has not been that bad.  I just need to force myself to keep busy or I know I will fall asleep.  The oncology pharmacy that fills my prescription calls me every single week to see how I am doing and what my side effects are like.  Amy, the pharmacist from the Erie Cancer Center calls me every week as well.  It's amazing how many people have been checking up on me.  

In fact, it was another humbling week full of beautiful gifts and well wishes.  I listened to a soothing cd today that Mary Ellen sent me called The Shadow of Your Wings by Fernando Ortega.  It is filled with sentimental hymns and sacred songs.  Michelle, my long time dear friend from high school, sent me dark chocolate, chapstick, lemon ginger tea, and a variety of Bolthouse Farm drinks, and my dear friend Liesl brought me a beautiful cross necklace.  A note from Nurse Dewey was sent over to me at school and I had a nice time catching up with Sandy who teaches all the way over in the senior high school.  We don't usually see one another since we are in different buildings.  Mom sent me some fruit home since I slept through my family's get together at my brother's.  They had a fish fry yesterday.  Rob went for me and told me all about how big Aubree and Morgan are getting, my great nieces.  Now I am waiting for Michelle, Scott, and Kian.  They are stopping by for a little visit.  With the cold weather, no one has been out an about much.  I hope everyone has a great week!  Think SPRING, be careful so you don't slip and slide, and I'll be back with an update next week.