Poppin' Parps

Well, I made it through week one poppin' my new Chemo pills.  It's like a small meal!  As you can see in the photo, that is what I take in one day.  Sixteen pills.  I'm getting pretty savvy at timing when to take them.  It was best to make it as simple as possible.  Since I have to take it an hour before meals or two hours after, I  decided to go with 7 a.m. and 7 p.m.  along with a gallon of water to get them all down.

It's not been too bad at all.  I seem to be somewhat nauseous for about 4-5 hours after taking them, and then I become quite ravenous!   So I sip on lemon water and just don't eat.  By about 5th period, I am looking for something to nibble on  and since it's snack time during the first five minutes of that class for the seventh and eighth graders, I snack on peanut butter and an apple or sometimes just a scoop of peanut butter on a spoon.

Side note:  On Thursday, I went to the faculty lounge right before Mr. Quiggle's World Geography class  I push into.  I was looking for the jar of peanut butter my daughter packed in her lunch box.  You see, she teaches down the hallway from me and she lives with us for just a few more months before she gets married and moves out.  Danielle does not usually pack our lunches, I do.  So on the rare occasion she does pack her lunch, it's quite comical.  I run into the faculty lounge to grab a spoonful of peanut butter, only to find her lunch box isn't there.  In I walk to class with a pink plastic
spoon and other class supplies.  Once the kids were working, I tell Mr. Quiggle I'll be right back
I'm on the hunt for my jar of peanut butter!  He suggests sending a student down to her room to get it
for me.  A sweet young man named John offers to go for me.  When he comes back he has her entire lunch box! I did not mean to disrupt the students from their work after I made sure no one in the room had any nut allergies.  I really NEEDED a snack pronto!

 I open up her bright polka dotted bag and remove an entire jar of mustard, then an apple peeler slicer, and finally an economy size of Natural Peanut Butter.  The next thing I hear are questions from several students.  Mrs. Chase, why did Miss Chase bring that big bottle of mustard?  Another student wants to know about the apple slicing contraption, and yet another student wanted to know what she was going to have for lunch.  Oh man, I really did it.  Everyone was more interested in what Miss Chase had in her lunch rather than working on their questions about Islamic, Judaisim, and
Christianity religions.   Thankfully Mr. Quiggle always goes with the flow.  I think he was also wondering what she actually brought to eat with all these large condiments in her bag.  So I pull out a piece of sub that couldn't have been longer than four inches, and an apple.  The class as well as Mr.
Quiggle all said, "That's it?"    "Why didn't she put the mustard on her sandwich instead of bringing
the entire jar?"  Finally, I told the students I could not answer for her.  They should ask her if they saw her some time that day.  Several of them said they had her seventh period and they were definitely going to ask about it!  Needless to say. she received many comments and questions regarding her lunch that afternoon just because I needed a spoonful of peanut butter to hold me over until lunch.  On Friday, that sweet, tall, young man named John who always waves to me as soon as I step into the room, brought me a little surprise to 5th period; a single serving size of Jif and a plastic spoon.  💙. It made my day and definitely hit the spot.  Sometimes, it's the little things.

I had a few strange comments this week regarding Cancer.  We all deal with it differently, that's for sure and that's what I try to remind myself.   Someone called my classroom looking for a student.     When I answered the phone, she said, "Oh my word! You sound awful!"  I am not sick with laryngitis, I have had a very raspy voice for the past two years.  Through various treatments and side effects, the bottom of one of my vocal cords has been burned and my throat has scabs and burns on it.  I sound raspy.  It doesn't hurt.  It is just annoying!  So when she asked me if I was sick, I just said,
"Something like that."  Sometimes it's easier to just go with the flow.  She doesn't know what's going on in my life!

Then I had an interesting conversation with a receptionist.  I've been having trouble (again) with my sciatic nerve.  So as I was checking in, this particular person starts telling me about her other job working for another establishment.  She is going to be teaching a class for cancer patients.  I asked her what kind of class it was because I have Cancer and maybe I would be interested in taking it.  She looked at me and said,  "You have Cancer?  What kind?"  I say, "ovarian."  She looks at me and says, "Oh my God!  You could die!"  All I could think is that this poor young thing is going to need more practice working with cancer patients if she is going to tell all of her clients they could die. I don't think it's going to be a very positive experience!  Then she proceeded to tell me how  cancers
come from bacteria in our gut and we just need to learn  how to eat properly.  I should have told her
mine was  genetic, or that she has just  as much of a chance getting it as anyone else from the world
we live in!  But it wasn't worth it.

 Death is something I try not to think about too much other than when I hear my oncologist tell me my numbers have gone up and I have to go back on a treatment again.  I know eventually it will be my time, but none of us  know
when that will be so I can't waste my time worrying about it.

The kids ordered From Jade Garden tonight so of course I had to open up a fortune cookie!  Mine said, "Time is not measured by a watch but by
moments."  That's what we all need to collect.   More moments that bring us joy and fond  memories.  Like catching up with my aerobics class at 8:30 this morning when it was minus 2 degrees out. But we made it there!  While we working out teasing Kori, our aerobics instructor,  we were sharing the happenings of what's been going on in our lives.  We even did a 3 minute plank and didn't realize it because we were so busy talking through it!  Another moment from today was going with Danielle and her fiancé' to look at a house they may put a bid on.  It was a lot of fun to see how excited they were about it and listen to their decorating ideas.  Later,we went up by the Mall and found a great deal on Danielle's wedding shower favors! Some  moments were shared with Andrew as he and I headed to the grocery store.  I am teaching him how to budget and grocery shop while he's in college.  ZaCh is starting to get a few interviews lined up.  It's exciting to listen to him  talk about his hopes and dreams.   Finally, Rob.  He loves to tease me about my raspy voice and how he can't hear me if I'm not facing him.  I think it's from being an instrumental music teacher for 20-some years. Be sure you take some  time to capture a few moments this week.  I'll keep poppin' those pills and creating some more of my own moments as well.  Time flies.  We need to make the best of it. Have a great upcoming week!  It sounds like March is going to come in like a lion in the north.  ❄️❄️

The First Weekend On the Parp Inhibitor, Olaparib

I was so excited when Dr. Krivak told me the Parp Inhibitor was in the U. S. ready for distribution at my last visit in January.  Once I found out from my Erie oncologist that I would be receiving it, I was even more ecstatic.  However, as I waited for a phone call from the one oncology pharmacy in the U.S. to call me and go over what to pest while on it, I began to worry.  What's new, right?!

This drug costs $11,500 per month or $138,000. a year.  What if my health insurance didn't cover it?  Our daughter is getting married in July.  Andrew is still in college.  We still have a little over six years to pay on our house.  So last weekend, Valentine's weekend, it was Danielle's Birthday.  We went out to eat.  We had cake and ice cream.  I was pile driving food left and right compared to how I had been eating.  Ohhhhh!  That's right!  I am an emotional eater!  However,  all it did for me was give me a stomach ache.  Fat Tuesday came and went with no need for me to pig out.  I was still cleansing from the weekend.

I was also worrying, as anyone would, about whether it would work, and if it did work how long  would it prolong my life? I wasn't one to think like this.  However, when it keeps coming back, it's hard to keep those thoughts out of your mind.  I needed to get to a better place.  None of us know when we will die. We don't know God's plan for us.   So I told myself I would continue to be positive. Crying and worrying about what will eventually happen to all of us one day was not worth ruining the time I had now.

Then, on Tuesday,  the pharmacy called to tell me it would arrive at my house on Friday.  I was ready to get this party started!  Enough waiting, worrying, and wondering.  On Friday after I got home from work, the package arrived.  I tore it open to see four big bottles of pills and a huge pill case.  Wow.  Dr. Krivak, Dr. Marsh, and the Cancer Pharmacist, Amy, all told me I would be taking 16 pills a day.
They weren't kidding.  At least they are more like capsules and not horse pills!  I officially feel old at
age 49.  I have a humongous pull case for a.m. and p. m. pills.

Meanwhile, I had been doing my own research on the Parp.   These little buggers actually enter my body and find my BRCA gene.  They turn it off.  This causes the remaining cancer cells and tumors to die. That's my understanding from what I had been reading.  Amazing!  How can a pill do that?  Eventually, my body may figure out how to reverse it, but maybe it won't.  I have to hold onto hope.  God has a plan for me.  According to research, it can keep someone in "remission for 3-4 years.  I'm praying for at least that long.  Heck, I want more time than that.  Medicine has come a long way!  However, we still need to find a cure for the 5th leading cancer nemesis.

There are potential side effects that come along with any meds you take.  Just turn on the T.V. any time of day and you will hear all kinds of commercials that list these awful things that could happen to you if you take them!  I don't have a choice at this point.  Some of the side effects sound just like
chemotherapy.  Back pain, constipation, decreased appetite, diarrhea, dizziness, headache, heartburn
or upset stomach, joint or muscle pain, nausea, nose or throat irritation, stomach pain, taste changes,
tiredness, vomiting, or weakness.  The  scarier side effects are bone marrow problems, acute myeloid
leukemia and fatal lung problems.

So far this weekend I have taken 4 doses worth and I have had decreased appetite, nausea, tiredness, and a little taste change so far.  I hope I do not end up with nose and throat irritations!  From past chemo and Avastin treatments I have a very raspy voice now.  I can't imagine it any raspier. Especially since I am a teacher!  I need my voice!!  But you do what you have to!

I've had a low key weekend relaxing on the couch, reading the Dr. Oz magazine and a good story on my Kindle.  Pinterest has kept me busy as well and papers were corrected.  I even enjoyed a four hour nap yesterday afternoon as I adjust to this new medication.  My husband Rob made steak and Danielle sautéed  fresh vegetables.  I baked a spaghetti squash but couldn't eat it.  So I made a
smoothie with some banana, blueberries, almond milk, and natural peanut butter that I sipped on most
of the night.

Corey is Danielle's fiancé.  He is doing his final internship in Erie at Health South as he earns his Doctorate in Physical Therapy.  His parents are taking a ride up to visit today since it finally stopped snowing for today.❄️(We live near the lake in Erie, so snow is something we get a TON of!) Then it will be time for dinner and preparing to head to school tomorrow.

There is always a reason things happen.  Most of the time we don't know why.  I know the reason.  When I was diagnosed, they did a simple family tree asking if we had certain cancers that ran in our family.  My Mom is a breast cancer survivor, my Aunt Gerry is an ovarian cancer survivor.  I had several great aunts that had breast cancer.  Dr. Richard did a simple blood test that has been available since 1994 to see if we carried a hereditary gene.  We do.  The BRCA1gene.   This happened so that we could identify the others in our family that may carry it.  My daughter, Danielle carries it.  My
Aunt Marcia and cousin Barb carry it.  They haven't had cancer yet.  They  were able to take precautions so they don't get it!  Even my boys will be tested to see if they are carriers of the gene in case they have children some day; especially girls. More on this at another time.

So a lot of good has come out of my experience.  It isn't like I found the cure, but I have been able to help some family members that mean the world to me.  They won't have to go through this.  That's worth it for me. I will continue to update once a week or so on how I am feeling  as I continue LIVING while taking the Parp inhibitor.  Have a great week!

The Time Has Come To Share My Story; A Shortened Version About My Battle With Ovarian Cancer Over th Past Five Years

For almost five years I have contemplated about blogging.  So much has happened over the past handful of years.  Life changing experiences.  Travel back to March of 2010.  I had been feeling bloated, not very hungry, tired, and a very sensitive lower stomach to the touch.  I hate going to doctors but had been to two different doctors four times in four months!  After a nagging voice in my head kept telling me something was wrong, I called my primary care physician and spoke to the nurse.  She said if I was feeling bloated I should go to the Emergency room immediately.  That was where I found out I had ovarian cancer.

After that day, our lives completely changed.  We went to MAGEES Women's Center where I met a very young oncologist, Dr. Scott Richard.  He was honest, up front, soft spoken, and very intelligent.  He was also a hugger.  I never had a doctor before that was so compassionate for his patients. He was also a Pittsburgh Penguin fan, so that was an added plus.

Five hours of surgery and I woke up in Intensive Care to find out I was Stage 3C.  They did a complete hysterectomy and took my appendix, spleen, duodenum, and a piece of my liver the size of a quarter.  I had a long zipper incision that consisted of 54 staples.  Ten days in the hospital with a drain in my liver and a catheter when finally I was released from the hospital.  I was homeward bound!

Have I mentioned that holidays are quite special to us?  My oldest was born on Valentine's Day and my oldest son was born on Christmas Day.  So it makes sense for me to have this debulking surgery on April Fool's Day and then start chemo on Cinco de Mayo.

The hardest part of this was telling my kids I had cancer and seeing the pain in my husband's
eyes.   I don't think anyone can prepare you for that news.  My son Andrew was a junior in high
school, my other son ZaCh was a senior, and  my daughter Danielle was a senior in college.  I was not going to let this beat me.  I told myself that through God, prayer, and positive thoughts, I would beat this.

So a month after my debulking surgery I began chemotherapy.  I had two ports surgically placed the morning of my first treatment; one in my chest that is still there and another near the bottom of my rib cage- the inter peritoneal port.  This was probably the hardest of the treatments I went through.
We would stay in Pittsburgh the first few nights due to treatments I would have back to back.  Those made me feel so nauseous, weak, and tired.

Losing my hair was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.  There is just something
about being a woman and having to lose my hair.  Eyebrows, eyelashes, everything.  I do not like to
show that I am weak or hurting, so I remember many times just sobbing in the shower or staring at
myself in the mirror trying to make sense of so much that had changed so quickly.

After 19 treatments, I was finally considered in remission.  I was off from teaching from  the end of March until mid September.  I was determined to go back and lead as normal of a life as I could.  It was so challenging to walk in there for the first time with my wig on running into my colleagues and friends.  Many of them had been to our house to visit me, but I was still quite anxious with being in
public and wearing my wig.  I work with such a great group of people!  They were all in my room to
greet me and have breakfast before the kids arrived.  That was another time I cried.  I never realized how many people cared about me until I got sick. It continues to be quite humbling.

I was in remission for close to 18 months when it all started again.  I really only felt tired but my CA125 numbers shot up.  So I started back on more chemotherapy.  After my numbers returned to
between 0 and 20, I went on the maintenance drug Avastin.  Once a month I would go for a one hour
treatment.  With these treatments we did not travel to Pittsburgh from Erie.  Instead my oncologist set
my treatments up through the Erie Cancer Center where Dr. Marsh takes care of me.

You have to go where you know you will receive the best care.  I wanted experts taking care of me that worked in gynecological oncology on a daily basis and who knew the newest and best treatments available!  That's why my primary oncologist was Dr. Richard.  The Erie Cancer Center sees a multitude of cancer.  I wanted an expert.  You should too if you are ever in this position.  It's your life you are trying to save!

Shortly after the first recurrence, my hero, Dr. Richard, told me he was moving closer to his wife's family in Philadelphia.  They had young children.  Having family nearby would be quite helpful.  I was devastated!  I sobbed!  What would I do?  However, I had no idea Dr. Richard had a plan in mind.  He introduced me to his colleague, Dr. Thomas Krivak.  Dr. Krivak specializes in the BRCA
gene.  So I met him and to this day I am still with him.  I was blessed with two heroes in my lif

 At first it took a little bit of getting used to as we got acquainted with one another.  This doctor was
also young, handsome, and very intelligent.  Dr. Krivak told me he was staying in this area and that
he was one of the best in the country.  I told him he was cocky too, but I liked cocky when it came  to prolonging my life for as long as possible! Dr. Krivak would tell me how good I looked and if he didn't know about me he would never guess I had cancer.  Who doesn't like to receive a compliment like that?? What I appreciated the most about him was that he was on top of the newest treatments for ovarian cancer.  He had been telling my husband and I for at least two years about a Parp Inhibitor that was actually a chemo pill. It was designed to help those with breast cancer, I believe.  However, they were having more success with those who carried the BRCA 1 gene and ovarian cancer.  It had
been developed in Europe.  We had studies going on in the U.S. He was just waiting for it to be
approved because he felt I would do well on it.

 Meanwhile I had several recurrences so I went back on carbo platinum and Doxil along with Avastin.  Another cocktail was used as well at one point. July 31st of 2014 I was able to stop treatments and had six glorious months without anything.  My body needed a break.  I mentally needed some time off.  It was so nice not having to go for blood work and treatments!  I had so much energy too.  However, all good things must come to an end.  This past January of 2015 my CA125 numbers went from 29 to 197.  My scan showed spots on my lymph nodes in my lungs, pelvic region, colon, and another 3.16cm spot on my liver.

I have many Angels watching over me and a strong belief in God.  When I went to see Dr. Krivak he gave me great news.  How could he have great news after finding out I was spotted again??  The Parp
Inhibitor Olaparib, also called Lynparza, had finally been FDA approved! Somehow, after the FDA denied approval this past October of 2014 saying it needed another year of testing, approved it.  One more glitch.  There was criteria you had to meet.  I met all of them except they only wanted you to have had three prior treatments.  I had four.  Also, it was very difficult to get a hold of.  Only one pharmacy in the U.S. was administering it.   Dr. Krivak was determined, however!  He called Dr. Marsh in Erie, gave him the website information and had him fill out the application for me.  I saw Dr. Marsh eight days later, he had me sign a consent form to receive the Parp and thought I should be receiving it within a few weeks!  I was amazed!  I was accepted!  It wouldn't take months to receive! Dr. Marsh then told me they had a staff meeting about it to inform everyone about it.  I would be the first one to receive it from their center!  I felt like a celebrity!  So I just received the Parp and thought I would blog about it.  As I was preparing to take them I only found one person who had been in a study that shared a little about what she was feeling like.  That's what made me decide to do this.  I
hope I can help at least one person out there to feel better by sharing this.  It's something to ask your
oncologist about if you are a BRCA1 carrier fighting ovarian cancer.  So my next entry will be the start of taking the Parp and how I feel.  Stay tuned!